If you are reading this you are touching upon my latest web site, what was once my springboard to the upcoming municipal election but which has by virtue of my precipitous detour from that singular purpose subsequently degenerated to yet another personal blog on the world wide web. All the serious and focused election stuff and anything else resembling academic orientation on the web site been summarily removed and proudly replaced by a catalogue of my own abstract waffling and codswallop. Judging by the emails I have received in rapid succession this morning it appears that I am a literary hit. Problem is, my popularity is seemingly based in China whence the associated email addresses emanate. And based upon the text of the emails the correspondents have considerable difficulty with the English language. All in all, not a glowing recommendation! Naturally I am suspicious of the nefarious purpose of my admirers though with some effort I can extract a favourable word in the mix of computer-generated gibberish.
I don’t mind telling you that this is a hit but not in the good way. I had for example modestly sought to generate flattering commentary about my blog from my friends by having discretely included my new web site address in the contact information of my email “signature”. Either the inclusion was so discrete as to be unnoticeable or no one was moved to say anything in particular if indeed they even read what I wrote. A comment along the lines of the Chinese devotees would have been something.
Although this may illustrate a general marketing flaw I suspect the more relevant question is what keeps a failed writer going in the face of such obvious disregard? The scope of the enquiry broadens swiftly as I extrapolate to a more general examination of what has kept me going for the past forty years. Suddenly confronted with the lack of statistical support in this hitherto committed enterprise the possibility of prolonged self-deception on a wider plane takes on new vitality. In retrospect I can appreciate the dearth of invitations to Government House and the complete absence of promotions of my candidacy to the Senate or the Supreme Court.
Nonetheless I persist. It is perhaps a temperament of arrogance which allows me to do so; or it may simply be devil-be-damned! Either way I am not about to throw either myself or my occupations overboard. As far as I am concerned I’ve made it to the finish line and that alone is reward enough. Getting through school and a career of law was a combined undertaking of no small import to my thinking. Bloody work! Every inch of it! I cushion the weight of my defeat by recalling the successes of the nincompoops who have gone before me; I wouldn’t change places with any one of them!
There are so many measures of success that it defies any attempt to settle irrevocably upon one or the other. Instead adoption of the generic, all-inclusive prescription is decidedly easier: Does it work for you? If it does, you’re a winner! If it doesn’t, who cares! I have never been one to accept mediocrity yet in this I am quite comfortable. It is rather like relinquishing the need to exert myself when bicycling. Enough already! All my life it was push, push, push. I’m done with pushing!