It has rained on and off all day. A slice of the morning was however clear for our short (6km) bike ride. It wasn’t until late this afternoon that things changed. Other than mercurially, I mean. Though as sprightly.
Like a flow of water suddenly pushing through a narrow pipe, the morning’s casual demeanour accelerated violently this afternoon. It may sound odd that inactivity and boredom are replaced by violence. The pace of life jackknifed; I was drawn back from languishing concerns then swept into the vortex of them all with an invigorated presence. In vivid colour I was able to see what’s coming. I rocketed into a nearer realm no longer hanging from an edge but now feeling the source.
Being part of the mix distorts the overall involvement but lessens the pain of yawning distraction. Perhaps being closer by mere days made an improvement. Whatever. It’s all less remote; more foreseeable, more compellable, more real and imaginable. I am embarrassed to confess I hadn’t the patience to wait. But things are now more proximate and we’ve revolved into the last 90º.
Part of the progression that so spirits me is that one week from today we’re on a train. The last time we trained anywhere was from Rome to Montepulciano. This time it’s Canada. Everything about the trip is Canadian. This theme of focus includes all key elements of train; viz., leisure, reading, dozing, indulging. I’m excited about passive absorption; about breakfast in the lounge; about melting in the steam bath; about sitting in the lobby and glancing at others.
What I’m trying to say is that we’ve rounded a corner. Yet just as we’ve reached this anticipated threshold the rush of today’s late afternoon intelligence evoked similar hope for things even further down the road.
Yet just experiencing the initial evolution palliated the dreary wait. Things mystically evaporated. It takes a lot these days – as I too begin to evaporate – to stimulate my energy. My mind is focused upon immediate gratification, not unrefined, just the opposite. The synthetic process was to extract all superfluity from the result. I won’t hesitate to say my standards are high. I’ve abandoned anything not exactly as it should be. Selection means limitation. But it’s worth the wait. Worth the drama of manifestation.