Outstanding issues

My inexcusable (and demonstrably inescapable) level of obsessiveness is seemingly without any dignity whatsoever. Any attempt I might advance either to distinguish or to relieve the psychosis is imperilled. My waking (and no doubt some of my sleeping) moments are preposterously consumed by the fixation.

Neurosis is a mild mental disorder NOT arising from organic diseases – instead, it can occur from stress, depression or anxiety. Psychosis is a major personality disorder characterised by mental and emotional disruptions. It is much more severe than neurosis – often impairing and debilitating the affected individual.

I shall at least overlook narrating a prolonged description of today’s featured mental condition. What is relevant – if indeed there is anything relevant – to this particular exploration is not the isolated manifestation of thought or emotions (which I suspect could apply to or reflect upon almost anything); rather the mere fact of obsessession. That at least is without question; it is true notwithstanding the possibly dubious nature of whatever it is about which one obsesses.

In spite of my longstanding confession of the logical inutility of obsessing (which I have found to be accurately described as “preoccupy or fill one’s mind continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent) I nonetheless persist to dwell upon some of the most outrageously piffling matters. And it is only when – as I have serendipitously done today – that I succeed to round the corner or perhaps unequivocally defeat the looming obstruction that my sense of stability is restored and the world is once again boomps-a-daisy!

As a member in good standing of what was christened in 1797 by an Act of the Legislative Assembly as the Law Society of Upper Canada (or what since 2018 by statute amendment is deplorably called the Law Society of Ontario) I may perhaps be excused a degree of acuity even to the point of application to trifling detail. It is after all detail which in legal matters is so often the pith and path to success.

The Law Society of Upper Canada was established in 1797 to regulate the legal profession in the British colony of Upper Canada and is the oldest self-governing body in North America. The Society governed the legal profession in the coterminous Canada West from 1841 to 1867 and in Ontario since Confederation in 1867.

Balancing this spiritous intellectual pursuit of keenness is the less complimentary words of this limerick:

There once was a man named Rex
Who was endowed with a very small sex.
When tried for exposure
He replied with composure
De minimis non curat lex!

de minimis

  1. Concerning things that are so minor as to be negligible, trivial or trifling. Often used to describe exemptions in government rules and regulations.
    The tax is not payable on amounts below the de minimis limit of £100 per year.
    The de minimis rules on import duty mean that alcohol for personal consumption is exempt from any charge.
  2. (law) Beneath the notice of the law; so minor as not to warrant a penalty or remedy.
    The behaviour of the accused was technically assault, but the judge found it de minimis and entered an acquittal.

As you might well expect I haven’t a similar defence to my own distortions apart from the metaphorical element of size. Nonetheless by utter chance today each of my two predominant obsessions (I won’t pretend to limit their number otherwise than by degree) magically evaporated. The once aggravated posture transformed to a masterpiece. This bipolar reaction is shamefully yet another casualty of my inexpiable behaviour.

It must seem odd for someone like I (who professes to be so enamoured of Thomas Paine and his atheistic demeanour) to dwell so excessively upon inadequacy of the most inconsequential purport. It is a rigour approaching flagellation in the pursuit of penance. Quite honestly though I haven’t any objective other than quelling the grit of imperfection.  With no recollection of any matter incapable of perfection within the human domaine,  I content myself to seek and address what I believe to be attainable. Naturally there subsists the qualification of interest, without which I willingly disregard the enthralment. But matters of personal interest are less readily diminished.

In the past month there have been two matters of critical importance to me. These, shall I say, are the outstanding issues.  As luck would have it, both have been disrupted by whatever miscalculation might have affected anything else.  That is, there is nothing peculiar to the controversies surrounding either issue; but in both instances it was apparent to me that I needn’t endure the kerfuffle and that the irritations were amendable and correctible one way or another.

The first ingredient that should be added to this already toxic mix is that of impatience.  Impatience – as I am certain you know – does nothing whatever to improve the issue. Indeed it is probably patience (or what I disguised as patience through my useless activity or unsuccessful modifications) that has resulted in today’s sudden unburdening. While it is all very well to attribute fortuity to the result, it may in fact have been on-going work in the background which perfected the interruptions. Here I am venturing into murky waters because I am being tempted to authenticate unseen downloads and updates, or backroom corrections, for what may have been the profit of my own studious intervention and repetitive assertions. You see the conundrum, I’m sure.

Whether to dissolve one’s dilemma with thanks or applause is naturally of no consequence. The relief is instant.  Surmounting an issue immediately succeeds to dwindle its erstwhile significance, enabling me to stabilize all manner of deportment.  The world becomes a rainbow colour; all record of discomfort is forgotten; the direction of focus is straight ahead with no concern for what is left behind.

If I may be permitted to conclude this purgative account with one final acknowledgement or admission, it is this: In the context of my life I haven’t a particle about which to complain.  If I were to disclose to you, dear Reader, the pitiful depth of the complications which inspired these two lingering issues, I would quite frankly prefer instead to delete the entirety of this communication.  It is only its illustrative nature which affords any verisimilitude at all.  The very title of today’s scrap was the product of my parter’s enquiry about the overall synthesis of the objects of my concern. Perhaps the uncomfortable reality is that I am the outstanding issue. But as I unhesitatingly responded to the insinuation, there is little if any chance of my improvement.  Instead I shall have to rely upon the outstanding issues to correct themselves as they apparently have done so today. Until then, I regret to say the foreseeable future is just more of the same.