It speaks to my supreme indolence that after a day of moderate industry I am thoroughly knackered. Indeed this morning’s “scheduled” meeting by Zoom with an ancient friend had me before the connection behaving as though I were in a business environment, watching the clock tick until the moment of lift-off! Naturally there were no external restraints once we got chatting; but I am uncertain that I would initiate a Zoom meeting again other than for business. I find FaceTime or similar options more organic, less commingled with worldly preparation and planning; still having the overriding flavour of spontaneity so welcome in calls between friends.
Oddly throughout much of the day – until now specifically – I have been anxious about something. It is an unsettling annoyance which blanketed me yesterday as well. Normally this lingering nervousness attaches to a petty but noticeable matter, maybe something as silly as having forgotten to lock the door. It may in this instance be a minor disturbance arising from the recent news that I am getting vaccinated. Indeed I am anxious to close that door! Or perhaps it is the barely visible mark on the car windshield precisely in line with my vision. Or maybe that Amazon owes me thirty-three dollars and two cents for what their agent called an “undeliverable” package. Or something…
If one were determined to tabulate life’s many distracting immersions – or should I say, submersions – it would be an endless task. Except for the most extraordinarily inert person there is always something to do, something to accomplish, something to clear up or put in order, even balancing the picture frames. It is however a miracle of the expediency of life that these trifling though occupying absorptions, after a bit of application and assiduity, drift away as though carried upon a welcome breeze.
Another ingredient may be the resolve to adjust to the concern without being overtaken by it. Settling things in one’s own mind is never simply logic or reason. Those constituents hardly compete with the visceral nature of many subjects. It therefore helps that others confer or support a similar posture.
On the heels of the morning’s diligence I was enthralled to do or accomplish further. I had already been bicycling; already showered; and already eaten my breakfast. What remained was the never tiresome drive in the country! And the weather was superb – the temperature soaring to 21°C under a clear sky. The moment I exited the garage, I had the windows going down and the landau roof opened. For whatever reason there wasn’t much traffic today. I sailed along the ribbon of highway to Stittsville where I washed the car; then gently drifted northwards to Renfrew County and back. The noise of the wind prevented me from listening to any music. But the buffeting wind revived memories of everything good, balmy days, soft winds and tingling sunshine.
After fulfilling a knee-jerk visit to the grocery store, I recovered my bearings sufficiently to complete my small duties then retire to the patio for an hour in the sunshine sans anything.