I’ve decided that cycling 15 kms a day is the limit for me at my age! Besides I can’t think of a good reason to exhaust myself. Not that my exercise is ever particularly strenuous. It satisfies my personal ambition just to roll along the pathway for an hour and half each day. And being here for the season is an unparalleled privilege by any standard! The sun, the azure dome, the palms, the sea birds of every description, just being at sea level not to mention the sea and the boats. The nautical influence is for me largesse personified!
This afternoon I lay alone by the pool for a couple of hours, occasionally swimming to amuse myself (and to attempt to stretch my thigh muscles and to crack my lower back). I’ve subsequently succumbed to a handful of Tylenol and a variety of prescription drugs for neuropathy and arthritis. I’ve given up arguing with nature! If I can defeat the distracting reality of pain for several hours then I shall try to do so.
Uncommonly in my opinion there are numerous birthdays of people whom I know in the month of December. No doubt there’s some libidinous nexus to the preceding nine month gestation period. Some time ago I pretended to abandon notifications of birthdays. It has proven to be a failed enterprise especially when others remember my own birthday in December. Sending birthday wishes is a small calculation at worst; and often it appears at least to inspire well-being. Gradually I am re-populating my computer with the pertinent dates. Some things just can’t be undone!
Every day my pattern is virtually identical. I’m not complaining. It’s a delight to repeat the inconsequential details of my life. For example when we shopped for groceries earlier today I bought precisely what I always do. The repetition doesn’t mean it’s dull or unsatisfactory; indeed it is the height of nutrition and taste as far as I am concerned.
I’ve even expanded my sense of good fortune to include whatever things I possess. This I know sounds perfectly complacent – and I suppose it is – but the spin I put on it is that I have reached what is an unusual pinnacle in life – a point at which I can wholeheartedly say that there is nothing better! I am perfectly content with what I have. From time to time I imagine enlarging the treasure chest but as quickly I return to my prior state of gloating. It is a disposition which obviously has the advantage of economy – itself not a trait to which I am accustomed but which I now willingly embrace.
Sometime between 2:00 am and 7:30 am this morning before I got out of bed I was having a perplexing dream. It was vivid to the point of realism. It involved me running a business, maybe something related to landscaping or trees or nature. I had a staff of about three people, three men, who made it clear that they were due to be paid. There was an animal involved, perhaps a small dog, but I am not certain why. I was returning to work from somewhere else, I had been away for a considerable period of time, things were mildly out-of-hand. My first imperative was to pay the workers. Doing so, I realized it would consume a lot of money which in turn made me anxious about making more. At this point I belief I awoke enough from the fantasy to subdue my angst by recollecting that I am no longer employed. This apprehension may arguably have strengthened my subsequent relieve upon reconnecting with the present. But it took time for me to withdraw from the half-conscious state and realign with that frame of mind we call reality.
Lying on the chaise longue by the pool in the warm sun this afternoon, feeling the lovely breeze, squinting at the yellow orb and its radiating lines, admiring the pale trunk of the young palm trees, I contemplated these issues. Nothing will be frozen in time but at the moment it couldn’t be better!