Due in part to my current physical immobility (as I await scheduled knee surgery) and in part to  my intentional (and admittedly curmudgeonly) removal from all but my most desirous social conventions, the extent of my society at Buttonwood Bay on Key Largo has been predominantly confined to poolside fraternity. When we arrived here 4½ months ago even those acquaintances were infrequent as there were often but 3 – 5 people gathered about the pool at any one time. Lately however the frequency of community has increased exponentially and as a result the acuteness of polite protocol has been accentuated.

Etiquette is more than the set of norms of personal behaviour in polite society.

In the third millennium BCE, the Ancient Egyptian vizier Ptahhotep wrote The Maxims of Ptahhotep (2375–2350 BC), a didactic book of precepts extolling civil virtues, such as truthfulness, self-control, and kindness towards other people. Recurrent thematic motifs in the maxims include learning by listening to other people, being mindful of the imperfection of human knowledge, and that avoiding open conflict, whenever possible, should not be considered weakness.

When as is the current situation here on Key Largo in the United States of America people foregather from widely divergent communities and different countries, the  matter of etiquette assumes a heightened realm of materiality. Especially for those of us from a different country it is for example sous entendu that especial discretion must be observed in matters of politics; more specifically, it is generally considered proper to avoid the subject of politics entirely. This is but an addendum to the greater code of behaviour to avoid commenting in anything other than a complimentary fashion upon the overall character of another’s place of residence. Even among those from the same country it is considered safest not to address politics in any manner approaching identification of one league or another. Politics, like a third drink, tends immediately to explode any erstwhile hidden opinions.

Social behavior is behavior among two or more organisms within the same species, and encompasses any behavior in which one member affects the other. This is due to an interaction among those members. Social behavior can be seen as similar to an exchange of goods, with the expectation that when you give, you will receive the same. This behavior can be affected by both the qualities of the individual and the environmental (situational) factors. Therefore, social behavior arises as a result of an interaction between the two—the organism and its environment. This means that, in regards to humans, social behavior can be determined by both the individual characteristics of the person, and the situation they are in.

Notwithstanding these limitations upon the seasoned traveler, there persists a wide range of topics upon which to discourse with others. The boundaries of decorum similarly persist but they tend more to be what to do than what not to do. In a closed society such as abides on Buttonwood Bay, the manners which are  acceptable define the cultural group.

Confucius (551–479 BC) was the Chinese intellectual and philosopher whose works emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, the pursuit of justice in personal dealings, and sincerity in all personal relations.

For the most part the observance of civility and conventionality are automatic. It is further a sign of acceptance within the social fabric to permit the occasional (usually comic) lapse into the vernacular. These minute digressions into vulgar language or carnal overtones are tolerated as evidence of the familiarity of the parties.

There are however times when the boundaries of conventionality are trespassed. The reaction is almost immediate, precipitating what may as quickly become the proverbial “heated argument “.  In these instances it is naturally advisable to withdraw or severely temper one’s native impulses. The presumption of one to invade the proscribed territory of another instantly animates the rudest elements of retort. And while everyone enjoys a good sparring match, poolside etiquette speaks against the insults. This of course is the other side of etiquette; namely, the recovery.

I have to say I am less than pragmatically inclined when it comes to an overt abuse of poolside etiquette. It is one thing to subscribe to it; but quite another to forgo it. My immediate reaction to such elemental violation is to distinguish the offender as a consequence of some prior social injustice. It is an unfortunate but repeated parallel in such mistreatment that the victim responds in kind. Understanding this psychology does little to widen the berth from such a person but it usually suffices to exhaust any further congress.