Things today have gone from good to better to best.  I won’t say I awoke early this morning. Traditionally I do not sleep well, never have.  While I may have slept well as a teenager (though frankly I haven’t any recollection that far back), I do know with clarity that in my early career it was not uncommon for me to stay up late at night flipping through television channels while lying on the floor in my upstairs den, my head on a pillow, with my French bulldog Monroe cuddled in my right arm.  I found that if I stayed awake until 2 o’clock in the morning I had a better chance of falling asleep when I finally blended in with the feather bed under the goose down duvet.

So anyway, I didn’t sleep especially well last night. It’s likely because I went to bed too early.  It must have been around 11:00 pm. Guilt lingered for having been up until almost 4:00 am the night before.  Maybe I thought some early-to-bed, early-to-rise therapy would help.  But it didn’t. I ended not getting out of bed this morning until 9:30 am. No doubt the pills I took at 3:00 am (my standard prescriptions) made me sleep afterwards.

The good news soon after I awoke was a telephone call (which I almost missed because the ringer was turned down) from the Queensway Carleton Hospital.  They apologetically advised of the change of date of a nuclear melanoma scan in anticipation of a wide local excision and sentinel lymph node surgery next week. This latest surgery (to this point I’ve had two major surgeries in my life) has been fraught with appointments, a number of which have already been rescheduled, some of which have proven to be either superfluous or redundant. But anything that manages to move the process along is good. We are at least slowly diminishing the preambles. As for what is likely to develop on the other side is obviously unknown (though significantly there is already on my Patient portal a CT Pended Appointment through Diagnostic Imaging). In this extraordinary medical conflagration I am currently only an operational dummy; but if things start to get weird, I am certain about my path. Morphine is my out unless modern medicine has developed a new and tolerable scheme to deal with pervasive melanoma. And I don’t need to dwell upon medically assisted euthanasia. If it was good enough for my dog, it’s good enough for me.

euthanasia (n.)
1640s, “a gentle and easy death,” from Greek euthanasia “an easy or happy death,” from eu- “good” (see eu-) + thanatos “death” (see thanatology) + abstract noun ending -ia. Slightly earlier in Englished form euthanasy (1630s). Sense of “legally sanctioned mercy killing” is recorded in English by 1869.

Meanwhile I have to admit all is well. From my perspective until I become uncomfortable, whatever is plaguing me technically is trifling. Thus it was after my telephone call this morning, and having replenished my corpus with forgiving soap and fresh garments, I resolved to penetrate what was clearly a superbly inviting morning.  Indeed moments later when I exited the subterranean garage on my tricycle into the brilliant sunlight I was astonished by the balminess of the air. It was positively delightful. Were it not for the noticeable gusts of wind I would have felt overdressed in my Patagonia shell. My Hodo shorts were however ideal.

This 4Km ceremony gratified my constant need for minor athletic expression, one which was strengthened by the summer-like weather. It would enlarge the enterprise beyond the realm of expiation to say it enthused me; but it clearly approached a level of atonement. The entire drama took me to the helicopter landing pad located behind the Almonte General Hospital whence I cycled up and down a local charming dead end street burnished with autumn colour, then filtered back along the river. The people I passed on the way were predominantly similarly disposed to the exceedingly pleasant day. With the exception of one chap (who distinguished and preserved his confinement by isolating himself with earphones) we all exchanged a cheery hello.  There were the usual number of morning dog-walkers in the park.

I shall spare you the detail of my ensuing motor vehicle ride into the city and back.  Except to say it was divine!  Today I extended my customary jaunt by prolonging the outing to Renfrew County. The comparison to a model train or other such hobby would not be unfounded. It was a shameless indulgence!