Staring it in the face

It is undoubtedly not uncommon upon the cusp of one’s exit from this world to find oneself unwittingly contemplating the horror of it all.  What an abrupt conclusion it is to confront the seeming inutility of it all, the sudden vacuum, the absence of convincing purpose to anything that follows and maybe even to what has preceded. It is a very uncomfortable feeling to be staring one another in the face and having no certainty about what one thinks, no certainly about what to do or where to go or why. Gone is the once seemingly natural appetite for performance, those erstwhile magical themes that once governed us sufficiently to promote early morning application and late night carousing, the now unendurable devotion to labour and money and love.

It is in short disconcerting at this juncture of accomplishment to admit one hasn’t a clue about where to go. Reliability has become an impossibility. Even were one sustained in conviction the witticisms and pleasantries are quickly evaporating like the disappearing ground before one’s feet in an impending avalanche. Suddenly the once obscure meaning of Jean-Paul Sartre and Huis Clos and the anxiety of Thomas Beckett and Albert Camus are painfully clear as though removed from beneath a cloak.

Existentialist philosophers explore questions related to the meaning, purpose, and value of human existence. Common concepts in existentialist thought include existential crisis, dread, and anxiety in the face of an absurd world, as well as authenticity, courage, and virtue.

Strangely confusing is the equally unsettling significance of Ecclesiastes. The poetry of centuries of spiritual abrasion are now remarkably poignant and no longer incomprehensible metaphor.

Yet the delicious part of the prediction is the clarity of alternative; namely, none.  Whatever debate might have clouded or restrained the purpose or meaning of what remains is now dignified with the confidence that whatever works is fine. Whatever may have been lacking in our former posture and meaning has now its own indisputable authenticity of a strictly personal nature divorced from any so called larger or more grand authority.