The Egg Man

About a week ago our building superintendent Jeff offered to give us some farm fresh eggs.  Jeff lives in the country nearby where evidently he keeps chickens.  He told me, while we were both in the garage one day, that he had an unending supply of fresh eggs if I were interested in trying them.  He said one model of eggs was the normal kind seen at the grocery store; the other was what he referred to as “blue” (though I am uncertain about the characterization, whether it is external or internal or perhaps neither).  I naturally willingly accepted his generous offer; and subsequently we have most satisfactorily consumed the entire dozen which Jeff delivered to our door.

This morning when I encountered Jeff once again in the garage (whilst he attended to business and I routinely tricycled back and forth for exercise) he reiterated his invitation to try more of his eggs (of which I had proclaimed my delight following his first gift). Not long after this brief encounter it occurred to me to compose a piece called The Egg Man.  The reason however is not directly Jeff but rather my mother.  My mother was often overheard referring to her Egg Man.  It now therefore occurs to me as well that on more occasions than I originally thought possible I was being treated to farm fresh eggs when at home.  I can’t imagine what otherwise I speculated about my mother’s Egg Man except to observe that I had been more drawn to his commensurate novelty to own four Rolls Royce automobiles (some of which merited the distinction of antique).  In addition to whatever it was that he delivered to my mother from time to time, I learned that he was a part-time chauffeur (for weddings and the like) and housed these exotic automobiles in a 4-garage building adjacent his country home.

This peculiar nexus of chickens and Rolls Royce was my introduction to the unconventionality of the country gentleman. When, after being inspired in this topic, I addressed Jeff to ask permission to take his photograph (for use on my blog) he straight away dismissed the opportunity, aligning it with what he said is a similarly unwelcome submission at funerals (seemingly when group photos are taken). Given Jeff’s singular personality, and his readiness to acknowledge the independence of others as well, I am therefore obliged to limit my further physical description of Jeff to the literary vernacular. Uniquely he has an enormously powerful full-length beard. Though his beard is mottled or light brown, if it were white, he could readily stand in for Santa Claus.  His eyes likewise glisten with equal portions of insight and mischief, strengthened by his pronounced “Valley” accent.  Hidden beneath his ample apparel is obviously a man who has preserved his more youthful agility and strength.

Yet in spite of Jeff’s otherwise ambiguous appearance, he distinguishes himself unwittingly in at least two respects.  First – the one which speaks to me most readily – is his use of language.  For the most part he elevates his linguistic talent by speaking plainly with an overall hint of humour and candidness.  He does however on occasion lapse into a more purified expatiation, as for example today when he excused my ambivalence about readily accepting his second offer of eggs, he replied, “I’ll interpret your subliminal response as affirmative!”

A more demonstrable exposition of Jeff’s character is that disclosed by the manner in which he performs his occupational duties about the apartment building. In short, he is meticulous. Though residents must, I assume, make a habit of not dwelling overtly upon Jeff’s industry while he is in the throes of doing so, there is no denying that out of the corner of one’s eye or later in the result upon estimation and review, we conduct an analysis of what Jeff has undertaken.  Invariably he produces an inestimable outcome. Being as I am an unabashed obsessive personality, it pleases me no end to circulate as I do about the building recognizing in the process that Jeff has applied himself assiduously to the care and maintenance of the place. I should add parenthetically too that the owners preserve a similar esteemed care in regard to other particulars of the operation of the building, whether air conditioning, electrical, plumbing, external window cleaning, gardening, etc.