We were 12 at table last evening. A dinner in the country. A dinner with old friends. Each of us had a longstanding relationship with one another. Some of the relationships literally spanned a lifetime. Certain of the relationships were romantic; others pragmatic; some professional. Others incidental. The distinguishing characteristic of blending young and old at the same table for the same meal at the same time is indeed singular in my dining experience. It is a feature characteristic to last evening’s host, one which he has oft repeated. And once again it worked! I attribute the levity of the evening and the social skills of the children to their historic involvement with adults from a young age. The contribution speaks to reciprocity (and certainly at times accommodation) but on balance it instills what is assured to be succinct, entertaining and memorable.
As you no doubt know from what I expect to be your own similar experience, children traditionally dine independently of adults. In my upbringing for example, social entertainment (whether cocktails or at table) was not what you’d call a family affair. The congregation was not marked by conviviality as a purpose (though certainly it may have been an accident). The foregathering (though at times involving friends) was predominantly fulfillment of a social obligation most frequently with business or professional associates (or in my case largely diplomatic). In general, children were excluded and governed by the “seen but not heard” axiom.
By contrast last evening‘s celebratory meal involved not only children but also grandchildren. Having dined at the same table previously with only adults and later with children and then with grandchildren (first one several years ago and last evening with a second) the uniqueness of the event and the history of it attached to the identical harvest table (though elongated by a leaf) was astronomic!
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As you might well speculate, the accommodation of twelve people at table is no small compliment. Indeed our host (my erstwhile physician) with the contribution of his son-in-law and others too numerous to mention insisted to contribute an outstanding effort throughout the entire spectacle. The endowment was not only the pleasure and nutrition of the complicated meal itself but also the comfort of the seating. There was for example no bench used to billet the guests; each of us sat upon a substantial wooden chair (including the baby – though with the customary addition of a “high chair” insert). It is noteworthy too that her father is a mechanical engineer. I find these serendipitous coincidences amusing.
A table for twelve has of course the disadvantage of separating the guests by margins which often curtail useful dialogue. I remarked privately that whoever was in charge of the seating arrangements ensured to distance immediate family from others so as not to limit the scope of conversation to household familiarity or needless repetition. Though all of us enjoyed a longstanding association, there were those whom we had not seen or spoken to for some time, particularly as four of the members had traveled from the South Pacific for the occasion.