After an unsettling time – whether a succession of small annoyances or an event of material disruption – a day devoted to precision and alignment, clarification and assessment is a welcome abstraction. Today is for me such a day. The weather is by common standards currently unfavourable – drizzle and a moderate wind from the south – but the afternoon forecast is for sunshine and a high of 19°C which translates to good biking weather which will hopefully enable me to fulfill my daily ambition for purgative exercise. The overall aim of an agenda such as this is the cathartic effect, ridding oneself of unwanted feelings or memories.
Though purging is indeed a medical scheme to accelerate defecation (customarily referred to as the use of laxatives), its equally common psychological relief is through open expression of strong emotions. As with so many other patterns of behaviour devolving in one’s tireless social evolution, sharing one’s thoughts can be a dangerous undertaking and as such unattached. I’m not saying merely that we’ve become over-sensitive but rather that it is sometimes better for both sides of the table to keep things to oneself. Nor is this to be considered a diminution of an otherwise enhancing process. Turning things about in one’s own head is itself a relieving project. Granted it may suffer the regrettable appearance of talking to oneself but I’ve found an internal question-and-answer can prove useful.
Purification involves not only removing contaminants but also making clean. Reflection and contemplation are the vehicles. Certainly there are more ceremonial options – usually religious, like fasting or confession – but my preference is self-examination. The curious feature of the endeavour is that no matter the underlying facts it is seldom that the absorption alters anything but the way those truths are perceived. If nothing else it amusingly illustrates how divergent our notions are based solely upon how we look at things. It is on the other hand encouraging that we can elevate existence to a tolerable if not indeed sublime level if we choose to do so. The unremitting power of thought!
Having pure thoughts doesn’t mean creating a fiction except in the sense of a legal fiction which exists for convenience – the way a corporation is fashioned a “person” distinct from its shareholders. Similarly directing one’s mind to certain fabrications – that is, “ways of looking at things” – is just as authentic and perhaps even more helpful than for example living in some alternate world of denial which does nothing to enhance the overall experience.
Make no mistake the road to purification requires insight. It isn’t a game of deceit. Indeed the object is anything but notwithstanding it’s goal of favourable outcome. To succeed merely by design is potentially nothing more than obfuscation. To achieve or travel the real road to purification is a legitimately considered venture – bearing in mind always that being reflective is by definition nothing but what one sees in the rear view mirror.
Aside from what some may dismiss as dreamy rambling and purely literary codswallop, my other source of inspiration is mathematical in nature. It doesn’t surprise me to recall that from my earliest prep school days and continuing through my undergraduate studies of philosophy into law school it was Latin, syllogism and deductive reasoning which attracted me and nurtured my being. The mathematical feature I have always considered to be critical; that is, not only analytical but also pre-eminent, having that dry but crucial character, sometimes even binary in nature. I confess that the limitation of reasoning to A or B is frequently a mark of unwelcome adamance, but if it is simply part of a scheme to impose or recover sensibility it has the plausibility of use as a tool to fulfill a greater and more enlarged objective. But even reasoning has to start somewhere; you can’t simply throw down a myriad of premises and expect some conclusion to follow. Instead there is the partially obsessive need to reduce or distill thought to extract a refined flavour one element at a time.
The universe as we all know has unrestrained capacity to fulfill its purpose quite apart from what any one of us may desire or attempt. This however doesn’t stop us from developing private alignment of what transpires; rather akin to putting ducks in order. It, like wetting yourself in a dark blue suit, is a nice warm feeling and no one notices. Merely perspective, just a question of how one regards the unfolding universe of which one is but a particle. For my part I am content to be so easily satisfied. Mine is a cheery outlook to be sure!