As much as I warm to the expression “To toddle off” implying as it does an acceptable saunter or meander say to your local library for improving literature the likes of Oscar Wilde or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the word also denotes the wobble of a child or, worse, the shuffle and lurch of an old fogey dragging his feet. I regret that I fall – so to speak – into the latter category. My meander has turned from a tootle to a teeter.
The insufferable declension is but another of those “facts of life” which one is inevitably obliged to confront. To pretend otherwise – that somehow you can escape the consequence of old age – is nothing short of laughable. It is an irredeemable sequel. In the hands of some, the pretence is downright implacable and may even promote the oddest fictions from cosmetic improvement to hair alteration to sartorial regression. Mine thankfully is far more submissive though admittedly quelled by the appropriate prescription drugs. What propels me in my conduct is the determination to carry on. Until I’m entirely diluted I intend to make a go of it. To do things like bicycling in the middle of winter. And to continue to buy triple cream icing carrot cake from Antrim Truck Stop in Arnprior. Oh my! The icing and the allspice cinnamon nutmeg moist cake are divine! I swear it contributes to my prostatic control.
There is a perfectly natural impatience accompanying the descent to advanced age. It is nonetheless an irritation to be overcome because it only poisons one’s being while it survives. Failing total triumph in that department the focus must instead be upon an alternate diversion; that is, something to kill time. The most workable solution involves anything of the first order, whatever captures one’s appetite, whatever succeeds to distract however momentarily.
A more intellectual recovery is one dedicated to an undisturbed comportment, a veritable semblance of unflappability. In a world of logic there is nothing to be gained from frustration. Time will unfold upon its own terms and at its own speed. In the meantime the answer is to rise above the consternation.
Looking at the horizon more happily will contribute to a unique and often unexpected experience. It may be the moment to capitalise upon that battery of inclinations so often ignored in less quiet moments. And the unanticipated bromide may be the very one to make the situation tolerable until the cause of impatience is relieved. Not to mention the advantage of the percolation of those formerly secreted ideas.
This prediction is not assured to be a workable remedy to life’s challenges but it will provide a stimulus to carry on with dignity not remorse. Eventually the sky will be blue, the sun will shine, the air will be cool. There’s nothing that will be the perfect uptick. But it is guaranteed that Nature’s serendipity is a winner at the end of the day’s journey. It’s like a good night’s sleep. So just toodle along!