It’s a question I have often asked myself and I suspect it is one others have on occasion asked themselves too; viz., What if things had been different? To begin, the seat of the curiosity arises, at least in my case, from the knowledge that I had other choices along the way. This of course is not the case for everyone for whom the question arises. Some people merely wonder whether things would’ve been different if they had escaped certain peril or infirmity for example.  Not everyone one of us has options in life; but we all follow paths which by whatever consequence, whether decided by us or otherwise, change our course and direction in life. Similarly whatever that alignment, the result is in retrospect inalterable. Therefore it would appear that the examination of what might have been different is purely whimsical and illogical, perhaps even unhealthy or at the very least unhelpful and unnecessary.  I do not however agree entirely.

While there is no doubt we can never change the past, there are nonetheless certain abstractions to be derived from that abrupt conclusion. Foremost in my mind is the admission that whatever it is that life has afforded me, in spite of my inadequacies, in spite of my stupidity, in spite of my weaknesses of flesh or thought, is not all bad; I might even be persuaded to admit that it turned out better than deserved or anticipated. Further colouring this trite conclusion is that there are many things in life that happened independent of my choice or wishes; that is, the government of my life wasn’t always within my control.  Indeed it is one of the highlights of my life which is the least reflective of my involvement. It is matters of this unique character which distinguish the value of chance in life (though I accept equally the possibility of misfortune by the same token).

The inability to have changed the course of life invites the more readily altered perspective of what transpired.  Specifically, while we cannot change what happened, we have endless parameters about our view of what did happen. And though this may at first seem a small compliment (because complaint so often overrules any other discussion) there are in fact advantages flowing from optimistic outlook. It is truly an avenue of choice no matter what circumstances govern. The optimism may be as candid as acceptance though that too is a palpable indicator or assessment of the course of events.

If however we are persuaded to continue to wonder what if things were different, we must – applying the same logic – confess that things may have become worse. Choosing only one line of direction is impossible.  Life – either now or in our imagination – is always going to be subject to changing cycles of experience. Pretending to restrict that evolution by any manner of decision or other capacity is purely imaginary. In short, things will never be different. The language itself is determinative; that is, difference by its very import requires estimate of what has already transpired.  Once again, there is no turning back. But nothing prohibits our characterization of what has happened. Therein lies the value of asking, “What if things had been different?” It is a platform for both resolution and improvement. Or it may be just another picture on the wall. That is the real and only choice in the matter.