Wishful thinking

I suspect it is the abruptness of my unanticipated tranquillity which has awoken and precipitated within me an unaccustomed fretfulness, a persistent and lingering urgency to fulfill customary though ineffable needs for which I seemingly have no current necessity or appetite. In short, and notwithstanding my paranoia, I have nothing about which to make a fuss, no obstacles to overcome, no translations to interpret nor disguises to unfold. I have just had my hair cut short. There are no obvious impediments to achievement, no predictable steps to be climbed or confrontations to be addressed. Most unequivocally I haven’t any desire to augment my material acquisitions, a supreme and irregular singularity which by its heightened austerity speaks to restraint and deprivation. And having accomplished the material bias to living, the metaphysical and emotional realms are no less magically cleared of their former passages of perplexing smoke and fog. My current state of mind is shamelessly relaxed, unambitious and unhindered.

No doubt those of you who see the plight of daily performance as more demanding than I have here posited will find it peculiar to dwell in an atmosphere of inexpressible bounty without the insinuation of the usual tempers of effort, assiduity and calculation. And to be honest I haven’t entirely forsaken those merits. Yet what prompts this particular narrative is that almost contrary to the blunt though common assertion that reward follows application, I have somehow succeeded to find myself in a setting which for innumerable reasons is agreeable beyond words.

My gnawing anxiety derives from seeing this fortuity as but the narrow point of synthesis, the amalgam of modernity, beauty, novelty, promise and overall satisfaction. But as I say the focus is fine and tapered. It is paradoxically a theme which governs almost everything I do these days; that is, noticeably limited by time. Though I hadn’t anticipated the commensurate blossoms as a reward for this rising limitation, it is surely to be happily received. I accordingly content myself on this day of boundless bounty to cherish the view beyond, the toys and accessories, the marvelous evening (and breakfast) meals, the residential settlement and the plans for what’s to come.