How to tell you’re an adult:
• You gain 30lbs overnight
• You’d rather sleep than go out
• Everything hurts
• Comfort comes before style
•You have a favorite spatula
• Everything feels like a chore
• College students look like 12yr olds
• You’re always annoyed
Thinking like an adult is initially toilsome. There is unquestionably a noticeable transition from the vaporous teenage ambit to the more defined adulthood. The process is natural, a reflection of our predictable evolution. Eventually the casual, pragmatic, common sense vernacular of age takes over. We finally remove ourselves from the drudgery of perceived propriety or the exploitation of rampant fraternity; adopting instead an expedient resolution to everything.
- Simplicity is self-evident. It is comprehensible. The uncomplicated format is the unwitting benefit of age. Because everything hurts when you’re an adult, the more sparing the allusions, the better. Age engenders a blunt manner of addressing a theme, not to appear difficult but rather to be succinct, perhaps even to promote a ready conclusion or concept.
- Balancing that desirable mode is an equally native behaviour aligned with adulthood; and that is a simmering preoccupation with death. Very often we do not mention death or its lingering contagion; but few of us would deny the poison of the affliction. Some categorically employ the estimated time limit (death) as sufficient reason to undertake adventure and indulgence. Metaphorically death promotes austerity and directness.
- After having spent a lifetime looking after the affairs of myself and others, I find it objectionable to become entwined with novel engagements. Change is not a friend. It is instead a pathway to discovery beyond the realm of adulthood. It is irrelevant.
- Appearances generally do not count as an adult. Adulthood signals a bypass of ambivalence. The definition of identity, intimacy and interests is the persuasion. Clarity is the result.
- The accusation of perpetual annoyance is not entirely improper. The curmudgeonly character of most adults is likely an unwitting development. But its common agreement among adults is not an accident. Increasingly we all become more difficult.
