Author Archives: L. G. William Chapman, B.A., LL.B.

About L. G. William Chapman, B.A., LL.B.

Past President, Mississippi Masonic Hall Inc.; Past Master (by demit) of Mississippi Lodge No. 147, A.F. and A.M., G.R.C. (in Ontario) Chartered by the Grand Lodge of Canada July 20, 1861; Don, Devonshire House, University of Toronto, Toronto, Ontario; Juris Doctor, Dalhousie Law School, Halifax, Nova Scotia; Bachelor of Arts (Philosophy), Glendon Hall, York University, Toronto, Ontario; Old Boy (House Captain, Regimental Sgt. Major, Prefect and Head Boy), St. Andrew's College, Aurora, Ontario.

Sunday drive

Dear Reader, I think you’ll grant that generalities often border on platitude. Yet I dare say that the fortuity of one’s day is largely unpredictable. This is particularly so when estimating one’s personal well-being as opposed to assessment of global patterns. My day today, for example, began uneventfully, one might reasonably say disappointingly. The diminished strength of Tylenol Regular – as opposed to Tylenol Arthritis to which I formerly subscribed – was causing me ineludible annoyance. The drug wasn’t moderating the lingering pain in my abdomen (wherein reside my broken ribs).

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What is the question?

When I awoke this morning the first thing I did was take my blood pressure reading on my BIOS Diagnostics™ monitor. The accompanying energy was somewhat like playing with one’s newest toy following Christmas morning. The device has all the features required of an absorbing accessory – akin to a device of almost any description, whether a smartphone, watch, camera or radio. They are all creations which enable self-expression and which require a measure of adaptation.

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Hurray! Hurray! The first of May!

It was not long after my arrival in Almonte in 1976 – now almost precisely 50 years ago – that I first heard the comic proclamation: “Hurray! Hurray! The first of May! Outdoor screwin’ starts today!” It was told to me by a white-haired Mrs. Annie Honeyborne, my neighbour (and her husband Frank aka “Honey”) directly across the street. It was on that identical corridor (Martin St S) that in the summer of 1976 I witnessed a float celebrating the Almonte Fair.  The float had displayed on it a large banner which simply said, “Gidday!” My introduction was complete! It has survived as a test of the truly local candidate.

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Stories and Folklore

Introduction:

I think you’ll agree that Almonte is rather like one big family. As with any family, no history is complete without mentioning some of its stories and folklore. Gathered here are a collection of accounts (some factual, others clearly not) which I have plucked from my personal diaries. I hope that within these sometimes preposterous tales and otherwise plausible narratives there will be some historical enlightenment or at least a bit of news to enhance your knowledge of our Town.

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A brisk springtime day!

Before 11:00 o’clock this morning I returned from a tricycle ride about the neighbourhood. While I employed the electric feature of the trike sparingly to ascend the uphill streets, escaping the brisk morning air was more difficult. Indeed the only way of avoiding the brittle feature was to reverse the direction of my path with the wind behind me. The outing (3.77 KM) made for smart fingers and frozen kneecaps (I insist upon wearing shorts at the earliest opportunity).

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Toys

It wasn’t anticipated upon arising this morning – midweek nearing the month of May – that I would end up amusing myself with a blood pressure monitor. It’s official name is BIOS Diagnostics™ Blood Pressure Monitor – Insight (BD252). I am guessing that the device is not unfamiliar to my new family physician Dr. Kayode Bamigbola. It is he who yesterday, during our very pleasant preliminary meeting, recommended recording my blood pressure at home for a week; and following receipt of the data, he undertook to review and reply.

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“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

It is, I find, useful to remind oneself of the frequency of a popular social dilemma: I can’t live with you; but I can’t live without you! The apparent contradiction is common among partnerships of any description, whether unwed, married, bisexual, unisex, short-term or long-term associations. The broader universal truth may be more poetically rendered by the now famous observation that, “No man is an island…” by John Donne.

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A hankering

As was so often and as meaningfully remarked dimissively by my late and much esteemed friend Louis de la Chesnaye Audette QC OC, “The best sauce for any meal is an appetite!” It is a blunt but distinct adage requiring an incontestable gut reaction. I won’t therefore attempt to dignify today’s hankering as anything more artistic than primordial need.

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Golf club opening day

The beginning of the season today at Mississippi Golf Club in the Village of Appleton along the Mississippi River could not have been favoured with more agreeable circumstances: brilliant sunshine, cloudless blue sky, a Sunday weekend morning and ideal temperatures. In preparation of our departure to the club for breakfast – we briefly sat at home on the balcony absorbing the astonishingly radiant heat.  Looking upriver over the placid water, the southern shoreline reflected like a mirror.

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