Years ago I recall having been introduced to the communal benefit of a well written obituary. What follows is an example:

Meed was born in New York, New York, in 1944 to Alan “Tamey” Wetterau and (Ethel) Cary Moncure.   At age 5 they moved to upstate New York, where life centered on the vibrant artists’ community of 1950s Woodstock. There, Meed was surrounded by teachers and mentors of all kinds, so that although “home life” was a moving target, Meed became an accomplished painter and sculptor and a NY Board of Regents Scholar by the age of 18.

After short sojourns in Gainesville, Florida and Atlanta, Georgia, where Meed got involved with the Civil Rights movement, they returned to Rochester, New York, and then attended SUNY Buffalo. There, Meed studied English and Indonesian, before completing a Master’s degree in Honolulu in 1973. After more travels, including a short time living in Jakarta, Meed took a position teaching English to Hmong refugees, and moved to co-op housing in West Philadelphia. Soon, a young engineering student named Bob Barnett applied to join the household. The co-op didn’t go for him, but Meed did! They married in 1981, and moved to Southern New Jersey, where Bob took up a career with the FAA that would span 35 years. Their child Cobalt was born there in 1982.

The years in South Jersey brought many new connections: Quakerism, the arts communities of Ocean City and Millville, coffeehouse nights, John Bate’s Masterworks choir, and a folk singing collective that met monthly for nearly 40 years. However, Meed always hoped to return to a more northerly climate, and in 2016, their sights were set still farther north: to Canada! Meed and Bob made their home in the Ottawa Valley in 2018, and took their pledge to the Queen in 2022. They began leading a multi-generational Hootenanny in Almonte. When COVID prevented this, they started a weekly online Singalong that continued for 295 sessions. Meed had formed immediate and fast friendships here in Almonte, and only wished to have longer to enjoy them.

C.R. Gamble Funeral Home & Chapel Inc.

Reading the obituary – about a woman whom I did not know (although we were “of an age”) – made me marvel at the dizzying ambition and vigour of the deceased. Evidently there are so many opportunities available to achieve a full and well-rounded life.  Conspicuously travel, education, language and marriage form integral parts of the adventure.

Birth and death are the outwardly defining moments of our lives. The landscape, geography, people, preoccupations and endeavours within that limited scope are the narrow – yet sometimes complicated and commodious – measure of the definition. Acquainting oneself even casually with these details is very often the discovery of extraordinary pursuits and endeavours. One reads of the endless observations concerning the destiny of our so-called souls. My late father – forever a pragmatist – gleefully related the mournful passage as “going into space”, an enterprise he applied as readily to himself as to his stray cat “Alphonse”.

Not every obituary reads quite so freely about novelty, ingenuity and application. For many the account of life is obscured by obligation, misfortune, express challenge, incapacity and relentless effort. Yet when the opportunity is at hand to rejoice at another’s success, we do well to capitalize upon the moment.

Our individual insight into the life of another goes beyond mere biography. Our expressions and intimations reflect too our own inner purpose and aspirations. While we may not clearly see in others what we see in ourselves, nonetheless the parallel is frequently indisputable. And for that reason the faintly morbid curiosity prevails even if unwittingly.