Propriety is an evolving manifestation. Foremost I believe it exhibits at the outset what thrives upon the tips of personality and sentimentality. In that respect it is a distillation, a fermentation of base elements. Like most social graces, propriety is never intended or expected to capture what lies beneath the surface, within one’s soul. It isn’t an investigation of one’s private affairs. It is after all a purely mechanical device, a tactical assurance of decency; it is not a reflection of depth or insight. It is however more than a theory; it is an expression not only an exemplification. Propriety establishes borders and insinuations which do as much to advance as limit behaviour.

The popular version of propriety is rules of behaviour conventionally considered correct. To the uninitiated this embodies an abstract idea, at times the symptom of an ailment (acting overtly and overly politely), an incarnation of someone (commonly called affectation) or the appearance of a spirit or ghost (unexplained derivatives of sociability). At its best propriety is a manageable device which constructs rather than obstructs social communication. Its gregarious element distinguishes it from personal encounters wherein more profound and less astute conduct is imperative. This is not to suggest that there is a lack of candidness or morality, nor that the application is purely functional. Rather it is designed to be an ointment or embrocation of what are often unpredicted circumstances or reactions to enable, if required, aromatic or cosmetic relief in so-called delicate situations.

In that respect, propriety is (if you’ll forgive the sophistry) strictly necessary only when required. Knowing the boundaries beyond which one is invited to attend is nonetheless a skill of its own. When in doubt I have found it best to preserve the scrupulousness implied by the situation. If by contrast one is solicited beyond that boundary, the incarnations are limitless. This highlights once again that propriety is largely only a tool. Yet its employment is not without its sometimes austere inference though nonetheless fruitful benefit. I have, for example, found that propriety is especially convenient when addressing emotional (as opposed to dry) matters or concerns. Propriety succeeds to distance the appearance of intrusion upon the subject by enabling a more clinical demonstration of intelligence. Otherwise propriety rapidly descends to the character of superfluity. My experience is that, in the proper circumstances, adherence to formality of any order is an overstatement at best. Rectitude and decorum have their place but they are as easily misplaced. Sometimes devoting oneself to protocol can be interpreted as impropriety. It is a reminder to preserve balance in all that one undertakes. For that reason no doubt propriety has the attraction of stability, the unwavering distribution of ingredients upon the whole.

Not unlike many vernaculars, exaggerations can sufficiently demonstrate the acceptability of behaviour without diminishing the creditability of its usage. Once again it is on occasion a tight-rope walk; but equally enthralling in the end. I am woefully reminded of many drawing room seances punctuated by highballs before a blazing hearth. Yet it remains an instruction of the same beneficial character as any other infrequent exploit; viz., you’ll never know till you try! What I am here sharing as though it were but casual inference is upon analysis like an African safari or a plunge into the sea.