As we see some grounds that have long lain idle and untilled, when grown rich and fertile by rest, to abound with and spend their virtue in the product of innumerable sorts of weeds and wild herbs that are unprofitable, and that to make them perform their true office, we are to cultivate and prepare them for such seeds as are proper for our service; even so it is with minds, which if not applied to some certain study that may fix and restrain them, run into a thousand extravagances, eternally roving here and there in the vague expanse of the imagination —
Excerpt From
Michel de Montaigne
“The Essays of Montaigne — Complete.”
Michel Eyquem, Seigneur de Montaigne: 28 February 1533 – 13 September 1592 commonly known as Michel de Montaigne, was one of the most significant philosophers of the French Renaissance. He is known for popularizing the essay as a literary genre. His work is noted for its merging of casual anecdotes and autobiography with intellectual insight.
The birthdate of Montaigne served as the basis to establish National Essay Day in the United States.
It is a curious and perhaps dubious feature of all my important personal relationships that each of them has from time to time been touched with disagreement; and, in some instances there are accusations of misconduct. Happily in the majority of those trials there has been vindication of one sort or another; that is, the slate is wiped clean of the erstwhile confrontation. Given the seemingly restorative evolution of the acquaintance it would appear to be an emphatically welcome outcome. The recovery period varies, from as little as days afterwards to sometime years later.
Vindication: the action of clearing someone of blame or suspicion. Vindicate means to justify, prove, or reinforce an idea — or to absolve from guilt. This is held to be probably from vim dicare “to show authority,” from vim, accusative of vis“force” (see vim) + dicare “to proclaim” (see diction).
Assuming the original affection between the parties was warm and genuine, the reinstatement is assured to be successful. If on the other hand there persists only a lingering disguise of worth (or the feigning of it for vulgar pragmatism) then the value of vindication lapses from absolution to nothing more than a reinterpretation of right and privilege or priority in which case the act of reinforcement is a selfish advantage only. Thus the confession of a wrong because a wrong is confessed does nothing to improve the relationship, rather merely to justify the original act of disapproval. For example, “I forgive you because you acknowledge your error.” Even the admission of the possibility of mutual error is but a small remedy of the acquaintance; that is, “We can all make mistakes.” This universal truism does little to advance any depth of relationship. At best it is trite.
Certain waning relationships are marked by no attempt at vindication on either side; and, some haven’t any demonstrable argument to vindicate (they merely decay with effluxion of time). One wonders therefore whether any vindication of argument is sufficient to revive a withered compatibility. Or whether it were on balance wiser to let the relationship turn to seed unhindered by putatively generous (or even biblical) averment. Permit me, if you will, by way of explanation to lapse into the vernacular. I have heard it said by one whom I admired that, “Where conflict abounds, let the shit go down the street.” It is a summary resolution to conflict; one which may offend one’s more profound religious or psychiatric opinions, or indeed one’s social aspirations, but it captures a candid truth.
The ultimate contest in these matters appears to lie as usual in that illogical though mandatory guide called instinct. It is otherwise impossible to assess the path to follow. The scene, without the benefit of instinct, is clouded with futile reason and obfuscation.